A few months ago an inspirational high school student, Jada Stewart from San Francisco (above in video) emailed me and asked me to be a part of her summit. She said:
"I want to tell you how much I admire your remarkable work in Life Coaching. Along with many others, your work both inspires and motivates me. I want you to know that you are extraordinary and your work is a positive influence and impact on the world.
I want to influence people on a personal level, by helping them silence the negativity, elevate their mindset, and wake up to their authentic self, and take action and make a bold and brave breakthrough. I'm launching my very first " Your Bold Breakthrough" summit. I would love to interview you for this summit on the topic of "Self Acceptance, Care, Development".
I said yes. Watch above and join to watch mine and many other interviews, too!
At least for me, every breakthrough has been preceded by some sort of breakdown. Check it out:
Breakdown: lower back injury left me crying on the floor most mornings / gave up competitive athleticism / wondered who am I without sports? --> Breakthrough: Pursuit of community and social change engagement / embracing my skillset as a leader for social connection and collaboration
Breakdown: acne, hemorrhoids, extreme stress / inability to care for myself and manage a staff of 25 part time students = feeling like a failure --> Breakthrough: I actually like and need time alone / it's worth my time to take care of me / maybe I can build a career helping others do the same?
Breakdown: divorce / feeling unwanted / devastation diet --> Breakthrough: moving to the mountains / embracing life as an adventure / loving my life
Breakdown: realizing solo-entrepreneurship leaves me lonely / feeling like a failure for considering going back into the workforce --> Breakthrough: joining teams that embrace me for me, want my ideas and value my skill-set / days full of people / feeling valued and alive
I accepted a FT job! I have not worked a full time job since September 3, 2010! Since that time I have been on the hustle and creative path, also known as the scraping by and self-doubt path, also known as the fast track for learning the hard way.
Season of No, Season of Yes
Accepting this job is as terrifying as it is exciting. I will be trading my flexible days for leadership in a small company and a consistent paycheck. Already, there is ease with what has been falling away. The Springtime has felt like the season of saying no, and as we move into the last month before summer, I am opening to the possibility that it is now time for a whole lot of yesses!
In fact, nos are yesses. When I said no to all the little part time work and partnerships that weren't working, or when others said no to me, these were acts that made the path to the yesses clearer. At times I have used the mantras:
If it's not a "Hell, Yes!" it's a "No."
How easy can it be?
These have given me a moment to check in with what I really need, want and is feasible. They allow me to do a capacity check, and not just stay in my heart. Yes, heart is a good place to be, great, even. I'm even co-leading a retreat called at home in your heart this fall! I tend to get lost in my heart space sometimes.
Balance Heart with Reality
Here's an example. My friend, Jamie Wyman, came over to help me survey my commitments and my dreams. We gave each endeavor a number 1 through 4 based on how many of my core values it met. The values we used:
Voice/Creativity ~ either provided a platform for me or offered me space to provide a platform for others
Family/Partnerships ~ supported building connections that would help me build my dream of a a committed life partner and mother hood or community partnerships for the Inn I want to create
Community Roots ~ gave me an avenue to dive deep into the community (in person or virtually) to cultivate connections and be a change-maker
Travel/Exploration ~ supported my desire to roam, connect, learn from and share with people world wide
Then she asked me to consider if I wanted to do each one and if it supported my core values. When I first started separating out my sticky notes for each project, an over-whelming number met 3 or 4 of the values. Jamie's insight pointed to the fact that time and capacity need to be considered when considering each one. Even though in the moment of imaging myself with each project I felt excited and eager, it was impossible to be fully present with each; there simply wasn't enough time, or energy.
Slowly I was able to parse out what was most important. It wasn't easy. I love just about every project I get my hands into! It's more difficult to step bac